While for her first 14 years of driving she managed to never hit an animal, in the past month, Sara has had several unfortunate run-ins with wildlife. We were able to sit down with the emotionally distraught Sara just this week. Here in her own words, is her tale.
"The first incident happened right near my apartment as I was on my way to work. It was a Thursday, just like any other Thursday, I was late for work and eating breakfast in the car. I neared a small bird with unusually skinny legs, even for a bird, and expected it to move as all other birds I'd encountered previously had. Perhaps this bird flew the short plane to school, or maybe he had found a good snack in the road, but whatever it was, he didn't move. Before I knew it, I had run him over. For such skinny legs, he sure made a crunch.
"The next incident happened a couple weeks later. I was on my way to the lobster shanty, headed for a night of pleasantries with the marvolous clientele. As I came over a small hill, I noticed something in the road. I initially took it to be an already mangled animal and didn't try to avoid it. I soon realized this wasn't a pile of bloodied fur, but rather a mobile and rather large turtle. With too much traffic to swerve , I was left with no choice but to continue driving. I heard a thud, a thud I've heard each night in my sleep since then. As I looked in my rearview mirror I saw the turtle continue on his way. A co-worker told me he was probably just on his way to a quiet place to die. I would also like to add that despite rumors I've heard circulating, that just because I was on the phone with my mother, does not mean that I am gulity of neglegant driving. I've watched an entire episode of "House Hunter" while on the phone with her with no issues.
"The third occurence was just last week as I was on my way to Myrtle Beach. I was somewhere in S.C. as I had already passed Pedro's tourist shithole, and had just finished my Wendy's grilled chicken wrap, which p.s., is not too bad for $1.69. I see a bird in the road and start having flashbacks to that Thursday. Why I thought this time would be different, I don't know. This may have been the inbred cousin of that first bird, because once again, he didn't move. As I looked in my rearview mirror, I saw a plume of white feathers scatter. After those cleared, I also saw the disgusted look of the people in the car behind me.
"The reason I was even willing to go public with my stories, is to let people know I'm not doing this on purpose. I've been getting numerous harrassing phone calls that I'm almost positive are from that raccoon family down the street. I can hear the scratching of gargage cans in the background. I really am a nice person that likes animals.
Since the last incident, several animals have come forward claiming mistreatment by Sara, including relatives of Sara's deceased pet girbil and a deer from Chippewa Falls that was nearly hit by Sara in early June.
