News Flash!!! Sara has Found a Career

A great sigh of relief was heard from the home of CJ and Tom as their daughter Sara finally announced career plans that don't involve groveling for tips. Sara informed her parents that she would be applying for a paralegal program at Meredith College in Raleigh, NC.
"We were starting to think the day would never come. After years at that BBQ joint and the lobster shanty, we thought Sara would never break her sick addiction to waiting tables," said Sara's mother. "We'll finally be able to include her in the family holiday letter again."
Sara has begun the admissions process with a grueling 500-word essay on why she wants to be a paralegal. Knowing that she's "sick of waiting on moronic people" wouldn't suffice, she's had to dig deep into her inner bullshitting soul. She's hoping key phrases such as "the detail-orientated aspect of law and the ethical roots of the discipline would challenge my analytical abilities" will really wow the admissions board.
Slightly worrisome to Sara are how her college grades will affect her chances of being admitted. "I'm still concerned that "D" in freshman year Spanish will come back to haunt me. Curse you Reno Aveneda, TA from hell!"
On the plus side, Meredith College is an all-women's school, so hopefully Sara's slightly slutty ways of her previous college experience will be avoided.